St Patty’s Day

What am I doing?

Nothing.

Wonderful

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This week has sucked beyond belief.

So this week I took calls, and two out of five days I was sick.

My calls were stinky, people yelled at me for shit I couldn’t control, I find out my house was almost broken into when my sister was home alone, and I find out my best friend at home is really, really sick. To top it off, I have to work Saturday morning because I missed half a day on Tuesday. It’s just been lovely.

You can only do so much from your end to help someone, and when it’s not good enough, well tough shit, have a wonderful life and good fucking riddance. I try to do my very best to help you, and you say it’s not good enough? Well here, talk to my damn supervisor, I’m sure she can help you plenty.

Farewell and sianara, bitches

Being nice.

I try to be nice. I really, really do.

But if you’re going to be a constant pain in everyone’s ass, then it’s going to be really difficult to be nice to you.

See, I try to talk to you or say hi, and I get nothing in return.

You make unnecessary comments on people’s food.

I think you’re a little young to be friends with.

 

I can only take so much “being nice”.

Girls. Are. BITCHES.

Okay, so I made this new friend up here, and she was going to turn 21 today so I offered to take her out to celebrate. Little did I know she started inviting other girls who had.OTHER ideas….

And yesterday I was supposed to shop with them…maybe spent two minutes with them and then they left.

I was supposed to meet them at the mall…nothing.

I didn’t hear from them for HOURS.

Any suggestion I made the other girl decided she didn’t like.

I wasn’t invited to “pregame.”

I waited around forever.

No one told me anything.

So they went to party without me.

Girls be bitches.

Ugh

Insecurities

I wish I wasn’t so insecure about…well, everything. My face, my personality, and especially my body (that may be the worst insecurity there is). Let me explain.

When I see someone I think is waaaay superior to me (looks & personality), I grow quiet and don’t say much for the fear of sounding stupid and ignorant. I tend to shrink down into myself. And there is a huge reason for this.

Back in 12th grade, I thought I had finally found a legitimately nice guy, who was smart and sort of cute, but most of all he was nice. After about six months of dating, he regained contact with his really pretty ex girlfriend and I became.jealous and more introverted, because she was obviously smarter and prettier and didn’t lack a personality whatsoever. He swore he would never date her again…

Alas, graduation day, he asked her back out….less than one month after breaking up with me. It sucked. After my bad year long relationship in 10th-11th grade, it was just the icing on the cake.

I’ve been dating the same guy for two and a half years and he’s proven himself extremely loyal. He’s also very handsome and has really pretty female friends who are skinnier and in my opinion, better than me.

So when he wants to double date with his friend and his girlfriend, it makes me nervous because I feel like the girl is probably freaking gorgeous and I would have nothing to say to make me seem interesting and I have nothing to wear that would make me look skinnier or look stellar. It sucks having all that insecurity, all because of a stupid high school boy.

I’m trying to be healthier and eat better, but I have almost zero motivation (except my boyfriend). It sucks feeling like…well, for lack of a better term…a potato and having everyone around me seem like goddesses. I don’t know what to do….I just wish I felt better about myself. I don’t want to feel insecure. I want to feel beautiful, not only to my boyfriend, but to myself as well. It’s just going to take some, if not a lot, of time.